It's unfair that guys like cannot cry...They must be like strong...Girls can let all their emotions out..crying..Guys?...We cannot cry...Cause crying is viewed as unmanly?? Then what we do??

"Real Man don't shed tears...They shed blood..."
What does that mean??Guys cant cry...So they bleed?? So I self-mutilate myself to get all the frustration outta me??..So I bleed..Then I am a true man..What kinda bullshit's that..Why do these tears come at night? Why do these voices come at night? Why do these images come at night?

How can I be a somebody..When God has already destined me to be a nobody..Feel completely like shit...Why can't I have some talent..Like singing? Dancing? Sports? Why issit I have none..And issit some are so gifted? Why is life unfair? Why are there so many questions in life?

JUST WHY...I wish to know..Hopefully someone would tell me...But I think that someone will never hear or see me...I am too small in this world...I am just ryan...Not like her Superman or something...Life suddenly feels so fucked up...Why cant I get her out of my mind..We will never work out...But why do I choose to deny the reality...And keep on living in this shit fantasy world of mine...I want to accept the fact that she and I will neva be one...But..Inside me..Somewhere...Something in me refuses to aceept reality...It wants to keep on living in fantasy...


Can this obsession just pass??
I must stop thinking about us
I need to start thinking straight...
This is something I can't achieve
But why do I refuse to accept the reality??

This is really driving me insane
I can't stop thinking of you each day
I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind...
I feel like I'm about to die...

I am willing to put it all on the line
It's a chance I have to take...
I gotta find an answer
But deep inside I already know
Its gonna be a "no"

Maybe once I cross-over to the other side...
And move forward to eternal life
Through God's willing
I'll be your guardian angel
Your shining light...

Although you will never see me
I will be there for you
Guiding you every step of the way
Wiping your every tear away

I will not stop,Till I see you smile
Then I know my job is done
The finally
I can rest in peace
For Eternity

CSY...